Today was a good day. It’s nine o’clock in the evening, I’m in bed in my pjs with a cup of hot tea. Already washed my face – turned out the kitchen lights, even. My Hubby is out of town this week for work and considering that I had to tackle all three kids and their various schedules flying solo and I’m still relatively calm at this point in the day, this one goes down in the win column.
But let’s be honest. The reason I feel so good about today is because days like this are few and far between. Right moms? (please don’t tell me I’m alone in this) Most days, I feel like a failure more than I feel like I’m winning – and that’s the brutal truth. You’ll wake up great and then someone – I’m not naming names – smacks you in the face with a blowout diaper. Or your kid lectures you about the way you pack their lunch (all the other kids get candy in their lunch, Mom!). Your teenager doesn’t understand why you don’t let them go the the party of the week this Friday night. Well, you’re not alone.
Let’s take last night for example. My middle child said during prayer time before bed that sometimes she wishes she was an only child with a single mom so she would get me all to herself and not have a sibling to deal with. Awww, sweet that she loves her time with me, right? Well, keep in mind she said it with her big sister in the room. Ouch.
Some days, I want to quit this mothering thing. Some days, I want to just get in my car and leave it all behind. Some days, I want to scream at everyone, pour myself a glass of wine, and lock myself in the closet. Some days.
If you’re like me, know you’re not alone. I believe every mom has these days, even if she puts on a brave face and acts like she doesn’t.
Let’s be real, when I have these thoughts, they are temporary and I know in my heart that I’m making a difference in my kid’s lives for the better. All my exhaustion and mental bandwidth spent raising them right isn’t for nothing.
If you have these moments like I do, I encourage you to do what one of my devotionals suggested. Find the joy in the little moments with your kids and treasure it. Like really treasure them and hold on to them so you remember them when those tough times hit and you want to run away. Hold on to the sweet baby snuggles so you can make it through the long newborn nights knowing they’ll be a toddler soon enough. Hold on to the times your five year old wants to walk holding your hand because soon enough they’ll be pulling away. Hold on to the moments your daughter wants to go to the mall and get her nails painted with you because too soon she’ll want to go with her friends instead. Hold on to the moments your son hits a home-run and looks up in the stands to make sure you’re watching. Because too soon he’ll be looking to see if a different girl saw him win the game.
We only get our kids at home for a blink. I’m saying this to myself just as I type these words – hold on to the joy. The pain won’t be what you remember, anyway. 🙂